I generally explain my work as helping those who are on the venn diagram of neurodivergent, queer, and chronically ill/disabled reconnect with their stories so they can be their full, embodied self and live authentically. When I think of that venn diagram, I imagine that there are those who would only identify as queer or neurodivergent or chronically ill/disabled. Certainly I knew I was chronically ill and disabled long before I realized I was queer and neurodivergent. I also know I’m not alone in that.
There is increasing awareness that there’s significant statistical overlap between those who identify as queer and neurodivergent. Some of this has to do with individuals who realize they’re one or the other, or both, later in life. Research on both sides of the Atlantic theorize that the overlap occurs because neurodivergent individuals are less likely to be influenced by societal roles and norms. (1)(2) But I would argue that means my work is even more vital, because especially for those of us who came to these realizations, if not actual diagnoses in the case of neurodivergent, we will arrive at these conclusions with our already built in stories that we received from the culture around us as well as those we know.
In fact, it’s not uncommon for either group (queer or neurodivergent) to have at some point the message that there was something “wrong” with them. These inner stories affect the way we think about ourselves, how we interact with spirituality both in the very general sense as well as the religion(s) we may have grown up with, and they can be difficult stories to change. Add in the trauma that comes from living as a marginalized person (see minority stress (3)) and the impacts can cascade.
The spiritual, and I’m talking about connecting with something larger than ourselves here even if it’s our true, inner, authentic self not anything organized or religious, intersection between queer and neurodivergent cannot be ignored. It’s where we find ourselves and can examine the stories, much like fans picking apart the latest episode of their favorite shows to find out what’s true (canon) and what isn’t or what might be, we can begin the process of re-story-ation to find the roots of those stories starting with who told them to us and why.
Something that can happen during that re-story-ation process is realizing just how badly organized religion or society/culture’s ideas of religion caused harm to us. When we start to untangle that, we can begin to understand it and create a restoration–not with organized religion itself–but rather with our own selves and those parts of us we were taught to hide and shame. It is, as someone I follow online said, that by understanding what religion has done we can begin to repair our relationship with ourselves and craft our own spirituality. Because you see, that belief that neurodivergent and queer people don’t care about society’s norms also means we don’t have to follow them when it comes to spirituality or religion and as someone both harmed by religion as well as involved in religious studies academia, I can tell you that a lot of it is toxic.
No one lives in a vacuum. And all of us have intersecting identities. Even if we don’t personally claim a label or identity for ourselves, we can still find commonality with others and work together in our respective communities to create better outcomes for all of us. Finding the spiritual intersection where our various identities cross paths is a good way to start.
(1) https://nhsdorset.nhs.uk/neurodiversity/living/lgbtq/
(2) https://www.pridecentervt.org/2021/12/22/neurodivergence-in-the-lgbtq-community/
(3) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10712335/