Skip to content Skip to footer

The Spirituality of Deserving and Mutual Aid

I just started a class this semester on religion and trauma, and one of the most impactful and traumatic actions in my life was when a local food bank said that “they couldn’t tell if I deserved food” when I’d asked for help. Apparently my self-employment made it difficult for them to read my tax returns to see if I “deserved” food. The truth is, that “deserving” question is something that is often touted by some religious groups, and it’s caused a lot of trauma. As we’re seeing more mutual aid posts and I’m seeing a lot of discussion about how important our communities are right now, and especially mutual aid is, I thought I’d spend this week’s blog talking about spirituality and deserving.

I’d rather one person get something they could afford, than a hundred people go without.
– paraphrasing a meme I saw recently

Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of happiness.
Food. Shelter. Clothing. Health care.

The list of human rights is simple, understandable, and undeniable. They make up the foundation of Mazlow’s hierarchy of need and echo the Biblical verse in Matthew that “what you do to the least among you, you do to me”. Or, think of any of the many permutations of the Golden Rule which make up many of the worlds religions. And if you’re not religious, then quoting the amazing Wil Wheaton, “don’t be a dick.”

I’m not going to lie. Nothing makes me more angry than someone worried that someone, somewhere is going to “get something they don’t deserve”. I’ve had that line come up in a discussion about school lunch debt (seriously?), been parroted at me by a religious food bank, and is talked about in politics all the time. The bottom line is that if you exist, you deserve to be fed, clothed, have shelter, and have medical care.

What does mutual aid have to do with this?

If you’re on social media platforms like Bluesky or Mastodon, you’ve probably seen Mutual Aid posts. But Mutual Aid isn’t just those posts. It’s also the site GoFundMe, tipping people thorugh Ko-Fi or Buy Me A coffee, or subscribing to a Patreon. It’s also that person on the corner in your town asking for money or food or gas. It could be the person in front of you at the grocery store who needs just a few more dollars to complete their purchase. Mutual aid takes a lot of forms, and there’s a lot of talk about whether people are “deserving”.

I’m not going to tap the sign, or point to an earlier paragraph. I’m also not naive enough to think that there might be people who are able to meet their needs and then some asking for help. But you know what? I’d rather be the person who gave someone $5 or $10 when I could, even if it might go to someone who theoretically could afford at least the basics, than the person who scrutinizes every little ask.

And I mean that. I mean that for mutual aid posts that even aren’t for food or shelter or some basic need. Someone wants new art supplies? Someone needs something that might seem different to you, but would make their life better? If I can, which these days is much less than I’d like, I try to chip in a few dollars.

Why? Because on top of food, shelter, housing, and medical care, my belief in our basic needs includes happiness. To me joy and happiness are divine, and they are spiritual to cultivate. If we’re the universe trying to figure itself out; if we’re little sparks of divinity existing on this blue marble, then even without looking at the many deities devoted to happiness,

In a world that tries to scrutinize who deserves things and who doesn’t, believing everyone deserves not just the basic human rights, but also joy and happiness, is a radical act. Helping people is a radical act. And that means, boosting mutual aid posts, donating when you can, and most of all, not judging those posts, are radical acts.

Want to keep up with Feathermane Soul? Choose to get just the blog posts or our weekly newsletter or both!

Leave a comment