It’s when times feel the darkest that we can make the most discoveries about our inner stories. What are our inner stories? They’re the stories that we’ve taken in from the world around us, from our culture, from friends and family, and stories that we’ve internalized on our own. Not all of these stories are good for us, and it’s when times are the darkest that we can really examine those stories that come from outside of us. The stories that come from our culture — what is the prevailing narrative that we’re supposed to believe? — are the ones that need to be examined.
Why?
Because it’s these inner stories that can be challenges and can help us find our liberation.
When it feels the darkest, stopping and listening to these cultural stories can help us change them.
We must look for the opportunities to examine these stories. Despair is the force that disconnects us from ourselves and from our stories. Feeling hopeless, not being able to see the light within the dark, that’s what closes us off from such self-examination. Some call this the dark night of the soul, and that’s language that I’ve used before. It tends to have a spiritual meaning, so I’ve distanced myself from it to some extent because people associate the term with certain religions. The truth is the dark night of the soul can happen to anyone, regardless of spiritual belief, and it’s the despair and depression that can keep someone locked into the pattern.
I will always say that there’s no wrong emotions and to feel your feelings. It’s okay. You’re not alone. I promise. So if you are dealing with despair and depression, I understand. But I also invite you to think about why. What stories are behind that? What stories might be causing you to give away your power?
Because my friend, you are powerful. You contain the ability to reshape your story, to restore your relationship with yourself, your connection to your body, and your sense of belonging. Your inner stories can shift your perspective and lift you out of the despair.
Think about your stories. What are you taking in that is shaping your point of view? Be strong. Be bold. And most of all, be willing to look at those inner stories.
