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CW: This blog discusses fatphobia, body dysphoria, and representation.
I’ve been doing a lot of website updates lately and am thinking about the yoga videos I had over on Chicken Yogi, the predecessor to this site, and moving them over. I’ve also been thinking about holding meditation and yoga gatherings at least once a month for the community. There’s a lot there to unpack including my own thoughts about how I look on video (does anyone like what they look like on video?) and how that comes across to you.
The featured image for this blog is a screen capture of me from one of those yoga videos. It’s not Instagram perfect. I’m not wearing the latest yoga fashions (oversized t-shirts and leggings are comfortable for me and something I can deal with when I get sensory overwhelm). Someday my goal is to make enough money to have one of those pre-fab buildings that I can finish out with insulation and electricity so that I can have a yoga studio. We’re too far out for me to hold classes here, but that’s okay. I’d love to have a dedicated yoga space to bring this knowledge to you.
Just a warning, this blog might get vulnerable.
But I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. After all, I got my yoga certification in 2021, am working on a yoga therapy certification, and I’d love to bring you more yoga content. I really enjoy yoga. It helps my achy body, helps me feel grounded, and the energetic and spiritual component of it, helps me, well, connect with me and all my energetic layers. It reminds me that I am here, that I have a right to exist on this planet, in this body, and that people who look like me deserve to see content made for and by us.
Nothing about us, without us, right?
There’s talking about accessible yoga, and then there’s demonstrating accessible yoga with representation. I want other people like myself, neurodivergent, chronically ill/in chronic pain with muscles and joints that don’t cooperate at times, and of larger body size to see that someone like them is doing yoga (or meditation, or mindfulness) and is doing so in a way that isn’t forcing or pushing them into uncomfortable positions. It’s a “come as you are” yoga style, not “come so you don’t feel self-conscious”.
I struggle to love my body. I always have, and it’s a large part of my cPTSD. But it’s a good body. It’s a strong body, and I hope to make it stronger. It’s a body that allows me to do chores around the farm, whether that’s yard work or spending time with the horses or their twice daily feedings. I can lift and stack hay bales, lift and pour 50 lb bags of horse feed (and chicken feed), and try to find time to relax and be comfortable with the kitties.
I know I’m not the only person like myself doing yoga. I’ve seen quite a few of them online, and yes, they make up some of my inspiration. But I’m also the only “me” that’s out there, and well, I think people like myself deserve to be seen too.
I’d love to hear what you would like to see in a yoga class, and if what I’ve said resonates with you at all, I’d love for you to join the next neurodivergent grief circle.
Join us on the third Tuesday of each month from 2pm to 3:30 pm central (US) time for a grief circle focused on neurodivergent individuals and their grief.
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