It was raining this morning when I went out to do morning chores, for which I was thankful because we really needed the rain. One of our horses (Kitty Kash, aka the Diva) doesn’t like to eat in the rain. One of the best investments I made was in feed buckets that hook over the fence and can be moved pretty easily. I guess that’s the first lesson from today, make sure it’s easy to meet varying needs.
The second lesson comes from the Diva herself, and that is that it is important to speak up for your needs. Where the other horses went grudgingly out to their buckets to eat in the rain, since there simply isn’t enough room in the feed shed for everyone to eat under a roof, though I try, the Diva went right to the corner by the gate where she eats when it’s raining outside and was like “I’m going to be fed here.”
I knew the routine by now. It actually worked out really well because she often will want to check out other horse buckets after I open the gates, and quite often she’ll return to her own pile of hay and not bother the other horses. So I had already grabbed one of the buckets to bring down to her, and when I tossed hay I put some right in her corner.
Speaking up for our needs can feel difficult. It can result in our needs not getting met. When I first encountered this behavior, I would frustratingly try to get her to go to her bucket. It resulted in a lot of frustration for me, and a stubborn refusal on her part not to get breakfast or lunch. That wasn’t a desirable outcome, and yeah, I take a lot of the blame for that one. But once I realized what she was saying, what she needed, and I accommodated those needs, everything clicked into place.
In order to get our needs met, we have to be willing to speak up for them and have a receptive audience.
The truth is, every single being deserves to have its needs met, and doing so comes from a place of companion with or compassion for, rather than a power dynamic. When we realize that every being has agency. There is no power over, not even in a caretaker/animal situation, only a desire to coexist, to listen to what the other is saying, then needs can be met without fuss or hassle.
This is the true wisdom that comes from animals, and the wisdom that I find in my herd of horses. There’s a compassion and a respect that comes from the herd, even with its hierarchy. The horses look out for one another. They know that. And there can be acceptance just as there can be pinned ears and kicky hooves. The goal is to find that compassion, to have the loving kindness so that we can hear what others need and if possible, make those accommodations.
What are you listening for today?
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